Delicious Relaxation

Today I met 15-week old Lily and when she was fed and pre-rocked, I got to hold her. I laid her on my chest with her sweet smelling head under my chin. The softest thing in the world is the rim of a baby's ear. It is softer than the finest velvet.

She fell asleep. Every part of her relaxed, and how could you not relax too. Her precious little body pulsed against me.  I let my head fall back and closed my eyes but I found that with my guard down, my eyes began to leak.

My two sons recently re-left for their respective colleges and it seems like such a short time ago I held them like this. I had not made any mistakes. They had had no pain, or struggles, or anxieties. Their needs were simple and I knew what to do.

No longer do I know what to do. No longer can I give them this innocent gift of warm bodily comfort, only a brief mom hug in which I will positive energy to flow to them. I wish that I could ease their lives in such a simple and satisfying way as I once did.

Different Kinds of Minds

This fall, son #1 punched a hole in the wall of our upstairs stairwell. (This is not like him; he was embarrassed; this is not my story today.)

One day, pre-repair, I impulsively dropped a penny into it as I passed by. Following impulses can be quite satisfying. This was. Don't know why.

I mentioned this to my husband, who is an analytical sort. He said, "Did you do it to see if it dropped through to the basement?"

Never occurred to me.

"It wasn't an experiment, it was an action," I said.

Postscript to "Socks" Story

I looked in my rearview mirror. Ten years later, bloated from overindulgence the night before, unkempt, and out of shape due to an injury.

First thought: Yikes! She recognized me--did I look this bad back then? It would have been better if she didn't know me.

Second thought: Hey! She recognized me! I must still bear some resemblance to that 10-years-younger, kempt, reasonalby-in-shape person. Great!

Third thought: Perspective makes a difference. It was worth thinking this through.

What Will I Be Remembered For?

In the locker room at the gym today, a younger woman recognized me as a parent of some of her former students. She said, "Do you know what you told me back then?"

This had to be 10 years ago. Yet with just the slightest hesitation, I came up with it. "Socks."

"Yes," she said, and she didn't seem surprised that I got it. "To stay warm, change your socks during the day. I have an extra pair right here in my purse."

It seems like a trivial thing, but I suppose I could be remembered for worse. I helped someone stay warmer in these bitter winter temps...

Food for thought, yes? What will I be remembered for?