Today I met 15-week old Lily and when she was fed and pre-rocked, I got to hold her. I laid her on my chest with her sweet smelling head under my chin. The softest thing in the world is the rim of a baby's ear. It is softer than the finest velvet.
She fell asleep. Every part of her relaxed, and how could you not relax too. Her precious little body pulsed against me. I let my head fall back and closed my eyes but I found that with my guard down, my eyes began to leak.
My two sons recently re-left for their respective colleges and it seems like such a short time ago I held them like this. I had not made any mistakes. They had had no pain, or struggles, or anxieties. Their needs were simple and I knew what to do.
No longer do I know what to do. No longer can I give them this innocent gift of warm bodily comfort, only a brief mom hug in which I will positive energy to flow to them. I wish that I could ease their lives in such a simple and satisfying way as I once did.
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